findingme

I have come to find that I can be my own worst enemy. 

 Its hard to beleive that for years I had an incredible sense of entitlement about my weight.  I know that sounds crazy but for the longest time..in my head, I would think that because I was good to everyone else, worked hard and sacraficed for others…I was entitled to eat whatever I wanted!!!!   It never dawned on me that thru justifiing my eating grotesque eating habits, I was killing myself.

I don’t want to die anytime soon.  I defintely do not want the pain of regret for having umpteen opportunites to lose weight and choosing to do nothing about it.  It is true there are only 2 real pains.   The pain of discipline/obedience or the pain of regret.   The pain of discipline/obedience only lasts for awhile…but the pain of regret is eternal.

This time in choosing the pain of discipline/obedience I am finally realizing some results.  I now walk at least a mile a day and an extra 4-5 miles on the weekend.  When I started this process I was excited enough to write and entire blog entry on the thrill of beig able to walk 1/2 mile a day with weekends off!

The point I wish to make is that for those of us who have been morbidly obese for decades, the defeatest attitude we develop over so many non-successful attempts to lose weight actually talks us out of being successful.

When I started saying..I CAN…I DID!!!   For the 1st time in nearly 3 decades I finally BELIEVE I will make it this time.  The biggest reason for that is I started behaving like a success instead of feeling like a failure!